thror09's Blog

Today is the day before my brother's wedding. He's the elder brother among three. The Eldest is already married with a two month old baby. This other brother is 'happily" cohabitating with his gf in our house and they already have a 2 yr old son. My nephew is the greatest, he sings unrecognizable tunes, wildly dances his crazy dances and surprisingly gives a cool, ala rockstar drum beating and rolling of anything from pens, his fingers to  remote controls etcetera... he is gonna be a rockstar someday. he is a bundle of pure happiness to us. While everybody is busy for last minute preparations --the food, my sister in law's gown (which was not what she had expected and had to buy a new one in the eleventh hour) rehearsals are scheduled late today,, etc--, i am here in my room just newly awaken after an unrestful slumber post night duty, planning to make that incident report about a Laboratory report mishap and this.. I am a vampire- a Clinical lab Scientist/Phlebotomist and I had extracted the most number of patients last night/early morning 32 of them newborn, toddlers, teens and adults. I have mixed emotions when i do my work. Anyways, going back..I had always respected my older brother since i was a kid, of course, and i could remember looking up to him and funny enough had felt afraid of him growing up. He is the matter-of-factly kind of person, no nonsense, moody, you don't know what to expect from him.. whether he is gonna appreciate what you said or down right put you to shame for being so stupid, yes he is quite hurtful and condescending at times, mostly to me.. For me he is a walking timebomb really and for the past months i have considered not trying too much of an effort of really cross paths with him communication wise or otherwise. But we still live in the same house. I used to tell him jokes, share to him my opinions, but have realized most of the times that i do, i end up feeling bad or being corrected or felt let down... so my new approach is WHY BOTHER TO TALK TO HIM??, when i could just be happy with NOT SPEAKING to him. But hey don't get me wrong,  i do say something to him when he wants me too.

He is finally getting married, and i am happy for him. We are of middle class to almost wealthy ( i say almost because most of my relatives are wealthier than us financially, heheh no we get by with want we need and sometimes with what we want.) As the years have past i have observed that my brother has gotten the best of what he wants, materially speaking though..Not that I am insecure but we sometimes think it's a bit unfair.  When we needed some pants to wear he always oftentimes buy the most expensive brands, he gets to convince my parents to buy him the latest and fanciest cell phones out there, and I am made to just settle for the practical ones, the essential ones inspite of me getting good grades and accomplishments. He always barely passed. (hmmpf, heheh; I am starting to ask more now, hehe) To this very day he has not changed, even about his wedding. He has made it to the point that it would be grand and luxurious. I think he spent a fortune for his wedding. My brother even rented one of the key convention centers here in our CITY just to be their wedding ceremony venue, gotten one of the best caterers and designers (unfortunately, apparently except my sis in law's gown which was quite overdone by overconfident, unrestrained talorists who went overboard--- Ostrich feathers from the train up to the top!! )One year's preparation has almost come to an end. Tomorrow. In fairness to my brother, he had somehow changed abit since then, he is less grumpier, less moody, less irritated but humorously he is still him. He was made by God to be like that. I have prayed and wished he was otherwise but have come to understand that he does not need to nor have to. It would have been better, or possible but it is not. That is his life anyway. I am nothing like my brother, I  believe i am more candid, campy, sensitive, emotional, expressive and plain humble. I think i am alot more vulnerable than him. He has his strenghts as i do. As well as weaknesses. i do not have a girlfriend yet around this times and is not really really pressured to have one. I want to get married someday but tell people i don't want to.The time has reaaly come that we are slowly entering important chapters in our lives. My brother is entering his. My brother is getting married tomorrow and I am happy for him.

Kudos! Wish you have a Happier life Jer!